The millennial problem: Imposters

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough? Me too. Maybe that feeling is correct for me though. Just look at my readership numbers and claps at the bottom of the page. I’m pretty certain that there’s a cat that has a blog that’s getting more views than I am.

Nonetheless, a blog isn’t a job unless you’ve got the audience to monetize it with adds or something and that’s tricky. Finding employment is supposed to be easier, so why’s it so difficult to get a job in a specialized field when you’ve got credentials for it? Am I really only qualified with my master’s degree to work in a café or grocery store? I know I’m complaining a lot and asking you, dear void-of-a-reader, a lot of rhetorical questions, but this is what I find I ask myself regularly. It’s pretty silly, right? (Oh, look another rhetorical question.)

I know, I know, I’m in a special and weird situation. I’m a writer, specifically an aspiring screenwriter) living in a place that isn’t Los Angeles or New York City, or any of the other major metropolitan areas in the US as I attempt to break into my narrow field, or really anything close to it, or anything that’s writing-related to be completely honest. In my defense, the written word is pretty digital at this point and it’s easy to bombard the gatekeepers and break into businesses with the inter-webs.

Now, as great as all that is, there’s some extra barriers, namely cost. Screenwriting contests and film festivals love to have pretty little entry fees, much like jobs. They make you pay them to enter and then maybe you’ll be seen if you’re chosen and then maybe you’ll get paying work. That makes sense, right? Those are contests and festivals of course and they are not the most relatable situation. What might be more relatable is the jobs out there where they never contact you. Or maybe unpaid internships. Those definitely gives you the warm and fuzzies that they care.

I hope I wasn’t venting too much. I do have a point with all this, let me try to get to it. Once I do, the title make more sense. I promise.

Millennials, how often have you seen those job requirements for entry positions that require twenty-five years of experience? Yeah, I’m exaggerating for effect there. It’s only ten years that they’re wanting, but you get the point. You’re rejected before you even try, right?

Now, writing is a lot of rejection, and that I can expect, but on top of that, the jobs that have been mentioned and discussed, “all the opportunities out there”, have these crazy barriers. That’s the way it is in all fields. If you don’t have an “in” by knowing someone, or have lottery-like good luck, or, if you’re not poor (aka rich), well, start eating ramen because you’re going to need to fork out every last penny you have to get noticed, maybe.

Now for my point: What the hell do you think that does to one’s psyche? ‘It tramples it bad’ is what it does.

It’s bad enough when you need to pursue something you didn’t study because you can’t find a good way into your actual field, but then you’ve got to apply to a bunch of unpaid internships that you’re also not qualified for.

Now, here’s the other fun catch: they either don’t even follow up with you which has become a common trend business has adopted from dating called ‘ghosting’ or they (shock!) hire you. Now, you might think that’s a good thing, but let me explain to you why that’s not.

See, having a job that you applied to on a whim or in desperation makes you feel completely out of your element. That’s the hell of it. Maybe you faked it, I mean, you probably had to, and good for you, but now they want you to do a job that you think that they think that you know, but without those fifteen years of experience that they claimed that they wanted, you feel like you’re a complete fake.

Welcome to understanding “Imposter Syndrome”.

Now, if I were to follow the traditional paths of whatever form of writing I’m trying here, I should have been studying journalism or English or something. Maybe philosophy. (What’s a Theseus?) Print is dead though, and no one actually likes to pay for anything anymore, much less music and words, so I persevere at my passion. Would I have been able to actually find my way into a newspaper? Could I still? I don’t think I’m really qualified for that, and who would hire a hack like me? (If YOU are that hack, DM me on Twitter @jeremywcday.) And I’ve circled back to my lovely personal form of imposter syndrome.

It’s an abusive cycle that perpetuates itself from a generation that never retired and forced impractical hiring expectations on us. But that’s just me: a struggling screenwriter or something. Not some business market analyst or anything.